Adva Biton

In memory of Adele

I met Adva Biton in a café in Ariel, Samaria in October 2018 and was immediately struck by her poise, beauty, colourful headscarf and elegant dress. She is a young mother, and her tiny daughter, Adele, had been the youngest of the terror victims whose tragic stories I have become acquainted with.

After ordering coffee, and sharing introductions, Adva began to tell me her story beginning with the words;

“I have 5 children in this world, and one not in this world. Adele died 3 years ago…”

Adva related the sequence of events beginning on February 17th 2015 and tragically culminating in her youngest daughter’s tragic death two years later.  Remaining composed she explained how she had been driving her children home after a visit to her parents. Adele was only two years old when her mother strapped her into her car seat to drive the short distance from her grandmother’s house in Ariel to her family home in Yakir. 

On the journey home they encountered Palestinian terrorists standing on the road hurling rocks at their car. Adva, who had three daughters in the car, lost control and crashed; virtually the entire car including all its four occupants ended up under a truck. Tiny Adele suffered a devastating head injury, and in that moment the Biton family’s life changed irrevocably. Forever.

Adva is a Dr of Medical Chemistry, University lecturer and researcher, however her successful career halted the moment her car crashed. Her two older daughters escaped with non-critical injuries but Adele remained hospitalized in the emergency unit of the Schneider Children’s Medical Centre, where she lay unconscious for five months. During this dreadful time, Adva and her husband Rafi had their other children to care for at home whilst dealing with a parent’s worst nightmare. They were approached by the doctors on many occasions for Adele’s organs as her condition was dire and they did not believe she would survive more than 24 hours.

Adva was eager to talk about her faith and explained that during this time she had many questions. ‘Why had God allowed this? What did He want to say to her? What was His purpose?’ She knew in her heart that He loved her but being human, struggled with these issues. The attack had been a huge shock, ‘just like a bomb exploding’ crashing into the Biton’s normal life without warning and they had no choice but to deal with it.

Sitting next to her injured daughter, Adva promised Adele she would be strong for her, she knew she needed to think clearly and be positive, setting aside her own feelings so that she could help the toddler in the best way possible. “From this point I took myself in hand and chose a new way”.

I asked Adva if she was injured also… “I think, yes.”

Yakir, she explained, was a strong community. People came, hugged her, prayed and offered comfort. “I can’t say I am not blessed. I have support. As a believing person, I believe God is doing the things that match for us- if it is not good, He will not allow it. Adele was injured as a baby, she was two years old. I thought ‘what has she done wrong?... Nothing!’ It is strongly my opinion God does not do things to hurt us.”, expressing that without belief it is very very difficult to carry on. “When you go through very hard things in life, you can stay on this road, or say, no, I don’t believe.”

After initial treatment in Schneider, Adele was moved to Beit Levinstein Hospital for rehabilitation for a year, during which time her father was unable to go home. Adva stopped work, and spent the days with Adele, returning to her home at night to be with her other young daughters.  The family lived in a small settlement in the Shomron (Samaria). Friends babysat her children every day and cared like family. Having been asked many times why she still wants to live in the area her baby was hurt, she explains that the community provides something that is missing in the city, where people can be isolated. She especially values the influence such an environment has on the children. “You can’t live apart. The children won’t be selfish in the future but very good people. For me personally it’s very important the children look around them and see others. And help, to be aware of other’s needs. When you give it helps you… it’s very important.”

The manager of Beit Levinstein decided Adele’s rehabilitation was minor and she was not making progress. She had been categorized as minimal response, her head injury was so severe. The little girl was unable to connect, even to her mother, and could not move or eat by herself. As a result Adva was given 24 hours before Adele would be discharged. In Beit Levinstein Adele had specialist help, the Bitons would need time to change their home to accomodate her needs. Adva felt she must fight for her daughter and refused to leave, a decision which led to a court appearance. The judge was favourable and gave them five months to prepare their house for Adele to return home.

During this time Adva was also expecting another baby, after four daughters, she believed they would have a son. ‘God would bring them a ‘very big hug’ with this baby’, they would name him Achia, after a biblical prophet living in Shiloh during the reign of King Solomon. Incredibly, the day Adele was released from hospital baby Achia was born.

Looking after a new baby and caring for Adele was challenging, but Adva found she had the strength to do so despite having no help. It was a terrible shock however when Adele contracted pneumonia and died suddenly, six short months after she returned home. All Adva’s dreams for Adele came crashing down; she was crushed.  Adele was just four years and eight months when her mother buried her.

The attack, Adele’s tragic injury and resulting death changed Adva forever. She could not return to work full time; her career no longer held the same meaning for her. Instead she wanted to do something that motivated her, something with purpose that would give her the power to get up in the morning.

Recognizing how much support she has received from other terror victims, Adva wants to reach out to others who have lost loved ones in other tragedies; maybe through illness or accident. She felt that through the life of her precious Adele, God had given her a present which allows her to touch others, and so, the ‘Adele; Caring for the Other’ Foundation was born.

Meeting Adva was a privilege. Rarely have I encountered someone who has dealt with such a terrible unnecessary loss with such resilience and character. The New York Times described Adele as “a potent national symbol of the dangers that stones can cause”

Despite this, the photos I took of Adva did not reflect the horror she has endured or the magnitude of her loss. She smiles, she embraces life and reaches out to others as a means of keeping her beloved daughter’s memory alive. She chooses to believe, despite the cruelty of her daughters stolen life. She is honest concerning the myriad of emotions she has passed through including justified anger that Adele was injured through murderous intention. Through this darkness, the light of hope continues to shine. 

Postscript: On May 19th 2019 Adva gave birth to a baby girl on what would have been Adele’s eighth birthday. She wrote “By the grace of G-d I gave birth to our seventh daughter on the same date as her sister Adele, of blessed memory…a mixture of emotions! Only happy occasions!. Just as we live with our loss 24/7, we are choosing life and continue to bring life into the world”